Movie Run Down

Man Of Steel

This version of SuperMan is the version of SuperMan if SuperMan was Jesus.  The action was good but made no sense.  Destroy whole cities while fighting?  SuperMan wouldn't allow that.  Kill a villain? SuperMan wouldn't allow that.  Watch his Earth Father get killed... By a Tornado ????? SuperMan wouldn't allow that.  This is a SuperMan movie that SuperMan isn't really in.  Russell Crowe has the best performance in the movie.

Pacific Rim

Great movie, bad promotion.  Great director, bad timing.  If you like Godzilla, Gundam or anything Anime GO SEE IT.  It's done wonderfully.  I just think it got lost in the shuffle of Summer kid friendly films and got buried.  Great scenes by Ron Pearlman.  Action packed.  Hope its a sequel but it didn't make it's money back so that might not happen.  I'm glad it turned out so good though.  Hopefully other director's will take note on how to do Live Action the proper way.

OldBoy

This is a 2003 Korean film that is getting a remake by Spike Lee ( I'm not sure why)  later this year or early next.  This movie sickens some people by the "twist ending."  I don't really think the ending was a twist at all and you should kinda see it coming actually.  But the intriguing part is finding out why he was imprisoned for 15 years and by who.  Is kinda stupid when you think about it.  It's long too like 2 hours and there are some slow parts to the movie.  I don't wanna see the remake though.

World War Z

This was a good zombie flick.  As usual the Government doesn't know anything.  There is a sequel in the works.

Now You See Me

This was a good movie that kept you guessing.  Far from the realm of believable it was just something cool to watch.  Woody Harrelson is always entertaining in my book.  There is probably going to be a sequel to this too unfortunately.  Hollywood doesn't know how to let things be great.

This Is The End

The funniest parts of this movie are at the beginning and most of them are by Michael Cera.  After Cera dies it's kinda limp.  It gets way more Biblical then I thought it was going to be.  And Danny McBride pretty much ends up playing the same characters over and over. The end was great though.

Rapture - Palooza

Craig Robinson is the ONLY reason to see this movie.  He provides the only laughter in this film.  Another End Of the World movie where all the believers ascended to Heaven and the non - believers are stuck on Earth with multlple plagues and demons.  Oh and Craig plays the Anti- Christ.


I think I saw more movies I just don't remember them.

Cinematic

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Movie Rundown

Semi - political thriller with a little bit of misdirection thrown in.   Powerful cast, not a powerful movie.  Mark Wahlberg's storyline really had nothing to do with the entire movie, they could have made him a stronger character.  Plus his relationship with the girl dragged the movie on about an extra 20 minutes and that had nothing to do with the main plot either.  Lots of wasted time.

50/50 is a movie about what happens when a young man gets cancer.  This movie was funny and sad.  His girlfriend was a real asshole and she probably shoulda got hit by a car or something.

Man, is there a good part 3 of anything?   This movie was slow, long and boring.  Marvel is just taking people's money at this point.  The franchise feels stale already.  The 2nd movie wasn't that good either.  And that Iron Patriot uniform just looked silly.  For as long as Iron has been around you'd think they would have something original to bring to the table.  But no it's just the same old "Iron Man."

Boy for a comedy this was far  from it.  I think I laughed twice.  I didn't even now Steve Buscemi was supposed to be in this.  I think the undertones of what today's version of "magic" is far outweighs whatever comedy was supposed to be in this film.  Magic today is sitting in a ice block for 4 days, or being buried for 4 days or not peeing for 4 days.  That's not magic, these are stunts.  Stupid stunts at that.

Movie wasn't bad abit odd at times and kinda gross.  The plan was dumb from the get go and the trouble just got higher and higher from there.

2 hours and 20 minutes!!!!  The first half of the movie is good then you get tired and go "damn this movie is still on?"  It shows great duality and corruption and how memories can haunt you forever.  Sometimes with these movies you have to say to yourself.  Man this wouldn't happen at all right here, but it does because somebody wrote it that way.  Dude got ahead of himself and showed the unintelligent person he truly was.

This one here is long and inexplicable.  SPOILER!!! When he meets his clone and goes to the other station (52) HOW COME THE BRITISH CHICK DOESN'T ASK WHY HE IS WEARING 49?!?!?!?! She asks if he is OK and either touches his chest where the numbers are.  Plus she monitors every time he goes out but she didn't mention that encounter at all. BLAH BLAH LONG LONG CRAP!

This movie really made no sense now that I'm really thinking about it.  If Tim Roth wanted to kill the kid he shoulda just killed him instead of doing everything else but that.  And the girl just kinda popping up in the middle of the woods was BULLSHIT!

Good political film.  Shows you just how screwed up the voting systems is.

Another long ass Judd Apatow film.  If his movies were half the time the would be twice as good.  The movie had funny parts but it gets DRY around the 2 hour mark.

THAT'S ALOT OF MOVIES

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Killing Them Softly

This movie for all intended purposes followed the structure to being a good film, but something was missing.  Was it gory?  Yes.  Good amount of violence.  Was it long? No.  Right within the normal 1hr 30min range and I like that.  The story line was simple.  Not too many characters.  But something was just kinda ehhhh about this one.  I'm a Brad Pitt fan and I like Ray Liotta too.  Maybe the belief that some of these characters were too dumb for there own good was just too hard to believe.  Maybe the ending was empty.  Maybe the politial undertones of Barack and G.H.W. Bush were too heavy or in the wrong context for this sort of film.   James Gandolfini  plays an odd role of a down and out hit man but may give the best performance of the whole movie.  And he is only in 2 scenes! It's something to watch but not great.

Fugeela

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The Master

This is an odd very very odd film.  Joaquin Phoenix plays Freddie Quill a Ex-Navy man who is trying to find something to do after the War is over in 1950.  1st off he is bat shit crazy.  He humps on and finger bangs a woman made out of sand that some of his Navy buddies made on the beach.  He beats the shit out of some guy he was taking a picture of for no reason.  I can only guess he had some type of PTSD because of the war, but he later explains that his mother was in a loony bin so who knows.  I can't really say what this movie is about.  It's not really about anything at all.  A man trying to find himself?  I guess.  A man trying to fix someone? I guess.  A buddy film? Hardly.  This film wasn't about a damn thing.  I think you just have to look at it as a chapter in a man's life and that's it.   Joaquin Phoenix gives a GREAT performance of a complete crazy person though so that's something I guess.

Doris Day

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Movie Roundup

Boy oh Boy, I had such high hopes for Gangster Squad.  This was action-less and lame.  The re-editing and re-shooting of this movie killed it.  It'll be on cable next month.  Boring and kinda pointless.

I kinda like these new age war films, except for Green Zone which was boring as Hell.  This movie shows the somewhat brilliance and very idiotic tendencies of the American Government.   It was directed well and never really hit a dull point.

This movie was unexpectedly good.  Frank is an old cat burglar and his son gets him a helper robot. Frank then teaches the robot to steal.  Good film.

This is a buddy movie.  It's like the bucket list for old gangsters.  It's something to watch.  6 outta 10.

Django Unchained

First of all Django is a classic!  98% of the people I know that have seen the film agree.  As a fan of Quentin Tarantino films this falls right in line.  Its everything that you could ask for, action, humor, violence and a nip slip from Kerry Washington.  The biggest uproar about the film is the use of the word "nigger" throughout the movie.  While in 1858, in America, in the South White people certainly weren't greeting Black people (slaves) saying "Hello Fine Sir (or Madame)"  so I really am confused as to what the big deal is.

Some people inferring to the film say "slavery wasn't funny,"  indeed it was not, but these same people had nothing to say about Tarantino's last film Inglorious Bastards and Hitler was being mad fun of. So the Holocaust and World War II is hilarious?  I get it, you only need to be vocal when it's against your ancestry alone?

At it's core this is a love story and it should be celebrated as such.  Some things didn't make sense and some things are hilarious.  I take no offense to a movie, especially a period piece set in America in the deep south during slavery.  In a world where people want the truth and want people to "keep it real" why be afraid of the how it was.  I do understand for some that the brutality towards black people during those times that were depicted in the movie was extreme but those were extreme times.  Additionally if it was watered down then people would have had something to say about Tarantino down playing the brutality of black people during those times.

Interestingly enough it seems that the issue is that because Tarantino is white people feel uneasy about the use of "nigger."  So if it was a black director with the same dialogue then what?  It's ok?  That's not for me to figure out.  I enjoyed the film and look forward to the next Tarantino movie.  It's still weird that a movie can invoke so much uproar when people don't have anything to say or any action against the everyday injustices that go on daily.

What's that nigger doing on that NAG?

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Movie Rundown

DREDD was better than I thought it would be, but that's not saying much because I didn't expect much. I never have really saw the 1st Judge Dredd film and never want to see it.  This had much action and violence but the effects of the "slomo" drug in the film was done a bit too much at times making it a little gimmicky.  But  for the most part it was a good film.

Flight started off great and John Goodman really stole the show.  Denzel really is a great actor, though he has the same mannerisms in every film.  The ending of this movie crashes just like the plane did though.  My thought is, if a movie is over 2 hours it should have a good ending, I mean you make people watch it for that long they should get rewarded.

As a fan of the Anime I think this live action version was done well.  Ruroni Kenshin is about a warrior how has changed his ways from killing.  He is still a bad motherfucka though.  I think Korea makes these live action movies?  But if so they do a damn fine job.  The only complaint is that its about 2hrs and 15 minutes and a few scenes could be taken out or just shortened to fit in a 1hr 45 range.  

FILMS!

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The Expendables 2

Revenge of the old guys.  This one is way better than the 1st one.  Jean Claude Van Damme comes out of his cave and returns to movies. This movie is pretty much like the first except its more believable even though its still pretty far fetched.  It looks like a Quentin Tarantino film, every time somebody gets shot their head blows up for no reason.  Its mindless and enjoyable.  Carl Weathers should be in the next one.  The dude that was the villain in Blood Sport (Bolo Yeung) should be the villain in the next film. 

<<<< Terry Crews' Gun 

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Red Hook Summer

Listen I'm not going to tell you I watch a bunch of Black people movies.  They just aren't my thing.  This film is supposed to be about what happens when The Pastor of the church's grandson comes to spend the summer with him from Atlanta in Red Hook Brooklyn.  DON'T WASTE TIME WATCHING THIS FILM.  Nothing happens.  It's boring.  It's 2 hours of absolute meaninglessness.  Spike Lee was in an interview and bashed the upcoming Tarantino film Django Unchained.   He didn't give a reason why he was so outraged about the film he just said wait and see it.  Sooooooo you bash a film that you want us to go and see?  Furthermore you make a movie about nothing ( the 1st film he has made in years) and about 3/4 of the way through the movie you find out the Pastor is a pedophile?  Ok Spike so you want me to see the movie about the pedophile but be outraged about the movie where a Slave is fighting back against slave masters?

In a sick way though it was interesting to see the approach used to abuse the little boy.  The approach that the Bible is right and since I am "a man of God" the things I say and do are right.  Shit was just sick man.  Do the right thing and don't see this movie.

Hook, Line and Stinker

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Lawless

This is a 1 hour and 55 minute film.  For 1 hour and 30 minutes Shea LaBeouf  is getting his ass kicked.  Then the main "villain" of the movie could have been killed a long time ago.  They knew where he lived, they could have went up there and killed him.  But no they wait til the end of the movie and kill him?? Of course.  The movie was shot well and had some good violent scenes, but overall I can see why it didn't do well in the theaters.  Gary Oldman was in it for about 10 minutes.

Cricket

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LOOPER

The premise of this movie was great.  It was original and not a got damn remake!  It stars Joseph Gordon Levitt and Bruce Willis.  Good stuff right!  A bearded Jeff Daniels is even in it.  The 1st 60 minutes of this movie is GREAT!  Then we hit that wall HARD!  Once young Joe gets to the farm the movie starts to feel like quicksand.  The direction we thought we were going is halted and detours fast.  I was hoping it would get back on track but it was too far gone.  And the ending while thoughtful and introspective was nothing more than a copout.  What for it on Netflix or however you receive your movie view-age 

Kid Blue

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End Of Watch

I haven't been to the movies much in awhile so when my father and brother both like a movie I had to check it out. Weird thing was they played a trailer for this movie AT this movie, very odd.  I'm glad Michael Pena has a role that isn't goofy.  Jake Gyllenhaal seems to pick good roles.  The first person camera shooting documentary style is getting kinda old now though.  Cloverfield did it, Chronicle, Blair Witch and Snow on The Bluff.  This was like Snow on the Bluff mixed with Training Day.  There were a few WTF moments that kinda took away from the film but overall it was done well.  Dude with the knife in his eyeball was pretty awesome.  And he got off way easier than a few other officers.  This is a tale of Black vs. Brown vs. Black and White.  And P.s. if a gang banger tells you that you have been green lit, I'd take his advice and lay low for awhile.  Use those vacation days.

Watch Your 6 Indeed

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Movie Run Down

 Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter is a you got what you came for type of film.  The title itself is foolery and that is what the film becomes.  It's hard even to take it seriously as an action film because it's just so over the top.  They mix in real events of Abe's life and throw in some Vampires to style it up.  If this was Abraham Lincoln Dinosaur Hunter it might have been better.  If it was Abraham Lincoln Coin Collector it might have been better.  The last straw was when 50 + year old Abe picked up his axe to fight again and was jumping on top of moving train cars to defeat hoards of Vampires.  Honest Abe my ass.

 This will go down as one of Will's worst movies.  A flop.  After being away from movies for 4 years while he let his kids take over Hollywood, Will kinda lost a bit of stride.  That ole Will Smith humor just didn't snap like it used to.  The thing about being away so long is when you come back it will either seem refreshing or have no rhythm, unfortunately the latter wins with this.  The story is bland, the action is bland, the whole damn thing is bland.  Sad part is, it's not a bad movie, it's just not as good as it should have been and I think they knew it.  The whole time while promoting the film they only talked about how good of a job Josh Brolin did impersonating Tommy Lee Jones.  And while it was a great impersonation the rest of the movie just fell short.  And the whole going back in time thing??!??!?!? Come on people.  Come on.

 This was a good movie, bullshit in most places but good none the less.  The way he tracks down the kidnappers and escapes most situations were very far fetched but entertaining.  Liam Neeson also has the voice of like Jesus or something.  I just don't get making a part 2 to this film.  Esp with the angle being revenge.  Albanians drugged and kidnapped this dudes daughter and tried to sell her in the sex trade and you want revenge because he killed a few of your guys?  Sounds dumb but Hollywood wants that $$$ so Taken part 2 this Fall.  Also, at the end, his daughter was too well adjusted from just being fed heroin, kidnapped and rescued from a sex cartel to be smiling and jumping around hugging people.  I mean her homegirl was killed and she was kinda like ehh oh well I'm back home.  There was no regard for human suffering at the end.  But I'm just a guy. 

 Ehhhh.  It's like Salt.  Story made no sense and it was just dumb.  Fight scenes were dope.  Too much of her just chilling with the other family though.  That was about 30 minutes of the film they could have cut out.  It did nothing for the elevation of the story.  Her father beat the shit out of everybody only to lose to the one person that couldn't fight!!!! Give me a 100 breaks.  Skip this shit. 

Ok I think Sherlock and Watson got something going on between them.  Sherlock seems sweet on ole Watson.  But that's neither hear nor there.  This just doesn't have the same pop as the first one.  it's over 2 hours!  And the dude playing Moriarty is the dude from MadMen but the whole time I was thinking "Man Kelsey Grammar would kill this shit.  The story was oddly paced.  This was like Men in Black 3 (not worse though) it was just kind of moving along and I really didn't care either way. 

I Watch Movies

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Alien vs. Prometheus

I saw Prometheus this past Saturday and was asked did I ever see Alien by Dj Craigo Gettems.  I haven't, so then I did.  And ehh.  Both movies are pretty "ehhh" in my book.  Alien takes place in 2037 ish and Prometheus in 2086-2094.  Both are stories of deception.  Both crews in both movies think that they are going to explore the planet (which is really a Moon) for a different reason and both crews are deceived by Androids on the crew. 

Alien was kind of slow and boring to me.  The whole 1st hour nothing happens.  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!  Then while exploring a scorpion crab spider like thing jumps on this dudes face.  Ripley says don't let it on the ship ... The dude Ash says let it on the ship.  And they let it on the ship.  Fatally Flaw and stupid mistake number one.  Don't let the Android tell you what to do.  That's the thing that killed everybody, letting it on the ship.  But if that hadn't have happen no movie right?!  Right! 

During their exploration they come across a ship and a creature in a chair telescope thing that they figure has been dead for a long long time.  Fast forward to Prometheus and we learn next to nothing about these creatures.  We know that they are Albino, about 7 feet tall and they hate Humans.  Prometheus has no focus its everywhere but at the end of the movie you're left empty like what happened.

Odd thing is, both movies had secret agendas which were to basically get samples of the aliens, but neither of the ships had a containment space for them. 

Waste of 4 hours. 

We Should Be Alone

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The Avengers

Everyone seems to love this film.  Everyone but me.  I mean it's a good movie but nothing to flip out about.  The 2h 30m run time alone is enough to make you think twice about seeing it in the theater.  The 1st Iron Man was better than this.  Captain America was surprisingly better than this. The 2nd Hulk movie was almost better than this.  Hawkeye??!! Really?!  Hawkeye?!  Listen I like Hawkeye...in his element, but when you are the "guy with the arrows," it kinda makes you a lame duck.  He was really only used for a plot device.  He was introduced in the Thor movie just to use him in the Avengers film.  I think the only reason they threw him in there is b/c they don't own Spider-Man or the X-Men or the Fantastic Four.  And really Loki again? We just had Loki as the villain!  Hulk was the only entertaining part of this film.  Captain America is not only a bore but he has this since of entitlement that he should have known that he had.  He was frozen for like 60... 70 years but its not like that sense of time hit him, so the idea that he feels older and called the one guy "son," is simply unbelievable.  Black Widow?!! Come on man.  They could have cut out about 45 minutes of this film and it still would have been just ok.  I really don't know why people are jizzing in their jeans about this movie.  But ppl seem to love it and it made several boat loads of money, so let the sequels come. 

Avenge My Time

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Act Of Valor

Ok see the thing about this film is, the action is great and it's an action movie. The acting though is pretty bad. The military men in this movie aren't actors they are real Navy Seals. The messed up part is some of the Navy men in the movie are better actors then others so it really points out the bad acting. If they were all in the same "can't act for shit" bucket then it wouldn't be so bad. But this is an action movie and unlike any other because they are using real ammo! LIVE ROUNDS! How?? I don't know! Why?! I haven't any damn clue! Seems dangerous as hell and kinda pointless seeing as how most films look good ammo - gun - killing wise these days. But the real kicker for this film is that it was shot entirely on a DSLR camera. That is pretty impressive to shoot a major film release with a camera costing less than $10,000.

The movie in a whole. Not bad at all really. Besides the crap-tastic acting from the non-actors it was an entertaining film. Things blew up, fun was had, tears, death...BOOM!

Salute

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Hungry For More - The Hunger Games Alternatives

Since I am aware that The Hunger Games is just a twist on Twilight and have no need to see either, these are my suggestions for movies that go for the jugular and pull no punches.

First there is The Tournament. Ving Rymes stars in this and it is action from the moment that it comes on. 30 of the World's Top Assassins kill one another to see who is the best. There were only 3 parts that I was like "Come on man really," but it was a dope movie.

Second, it's Battle Royale ! This is set in Japan. 9th Grade trouble maker kids of this certain school get send to an unknown island where they have 3 days to kill each other. The last on alive gets to leave the island. You learn about the kids pasts, troubles and relationships with one another. A few weird things though. The beginning of the movie has nothing to do with the movie at all. The role of the Teacher is pretty weird... his character seems deep but it gets lost in the goofiness of him. The tracking necklaces the children had, had microphones on them, but it seemed that sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn't. 42 only 1 can make it...kinda. Interesting movie. Gogo from Kill Bill was in this movie.

Buffet

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Movie Review : Man On A Ledge

If I was in some type of coma maybe this movie would have been better. The premise was great. Man on a Ledge! Well why is he on a ledge? That was the draw for ppl and the trailer was awesome. But when you sit down and actually digest this mess of a movie its just dumb. This whole review is a spoiler so you might just want to stop if you are at anyway for any reason interested in this film.

First the reason he was locked up in the first place made no sense. The diamond was stolen and it was believed that he cut the diamond into smaller pieces and sold them individually??? The fuck! He was a cop not fucking James Bond. I'm not sure that most cops just know a place where they can take a 40 Million Dollar Diamond and get it cut into like 100 smaller diamonds without raising the suspicions of the FBI.

The way he escaped was bullshit. He would have been shot and dead immediately.

When he was on the ledge talking to the woman detective...if he knew she was giving him a cigarette to run his prints why do it?! I think this was a flaw in the writing or something b/c that made no sense. Plus I'm not 1000% sure you can get a good match on fingerprints on a cigarette? He went to such great lengths to make sure he left no prints in the hotel room why give up the prints that easily...esp knowing that when they found out who you were it would go into high alert. Additionally HOW THE FUCK DIDN'T THEY KNOW WHO HE WAS?! He was an officer on the force that was suspected of stealing diamonds and locked up...but no one knew who he was until the prints came back??

The dynamic of his brother and his girlfriend breaking into the building was annoying as hell. Where'd they get explosives? The blueprints for the building? They said they where training for a year...how?! They tried to go Ocean's 11 but failed.

When he jumped from 12 stories onto the cushion it was just preposterous. Not only would he have been injured, he would have been so damn discombobulated he would in no way just jump up and run after the diamond guy. Plus he would have been immediately apprehended by the police since the were trying to arrest him the whole movie right. I mean that was the point right?

It's more things that were dumb about this film but I'm tired of pointing them out. Rent it if you want but ehhhhh just skip it.

JUMP

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Safe House

Denzel is a great character actor. Sure you can tell the bad guy within the first 15 minutes of this movie but that's not the point. Ryan Reynolds wasn't really a factor. I like Ryan Reynolds but he almost could have been any other actor in this. Partly due to the fact that it was little chemistry between Reynolds and Denzel. It's a good action flick. Simple and plain.

We'll Take It From Here

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Movie Review - Chronicle

This movie that ppl knew very little about, turned out to be pretty cool. It's a sci-fi horror-esqe thriller. It touches on subjects of home abuse, bullying, brotherhood and the effects of these things. Andrew, Matt and Steve (Andrew and Matt are cousins) find a tunnel that leads to a glowing unexplainable crystal structure. The 3 of them gain telekinetic powers. This movie is filled with irony. Physically the weakest of the 3, Andrew who was bullied in school and beaten at home by his father had the strongest mental powers. ****SPOILER ALERT**** When Steven was hit by the airplane Andrew saved him, but Andrew was the one who killed Steven.
Andrew's father was an out of work fireman....the reason Andrew got caught... he was set on fire.

This was much more a behavioral film...nature vs nurture argument. Steven was nurtured in life and he was popular in school, class president, well liked and out going. That is why I think he was the first one to learn to fly. Andrew was worrying about his sick mother, beaten daily by his father, picked on by everyone in school and even in the neighborhood. Very introverted. He felt alone and did not know how to deal with his feelings and emotions. And Matt just went with the flow kind of a mesh of the 2.

This was a great movie. I'm glad they didn't spend any time talking about where the weird power crystal came from, that explanation would have brought the whole movie down. Great explosion in the hospital!

You Walk Around My House Smiling (funniest line of the movie)

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