Movie Run Down

 Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter is a you got what you came for type of film.  The title itself is foolery and that is what the film becomes.  It's hard even to take it seriously as an action film because it's just so over the top.  They mix in real events of Abe's life and throw in some Vampires to style it up.  If this was Abraham Lincoln Dinosaur Hunter it might have been better.  If it was Abraham Lincoln Coin Collector it might have been better.  The last straw was when 50 + year old Abe picked up his axe to fight again and was jumping on top of moving train cars to defeat hoards of Vampires.  Honest Abe my ass.

 This will go down as one of Will's worst movies.  A flop.  After being away from movies for 4 years while he let his kids take over Hollywood, Will kinda lost a bit of stride.  That ole Will Smith humor just didn't snap like it used to.  The thing about being away so long is when you come back it will either seem refreshing or have no rhythm, unfortunately the latter wins with this.  The story is bland, the action is bland, the whole damn thing is bland.  Sad part is, it's not a bad movie, it's just not as good as it should have been and I think they knew it.  The whole time while promoting the film they only talked about how good of a job Josh Brolin did impersonating Tommy Lee Jones.  And while it was a great impersonation the rest of the movie just fell short.  And the whole going back in time thing??!??!?!? Come on people.  Come on.

 This was a good movie, bullshit in most places but good none the less.  The way he tracks down the kidnappers and escapes most situations were very far fetched but entertaining.  Liam Neeson also has the voice of like Jesus or something.  I just don't get making a part 2 to this film.  Esp with the angle being revenge.  Albanians drugged and kidnapped this dudes daughter and tried to sell her in the sex trade and you want revenge because he killed a few of your guys?  Sounds dumb but Hollywood wants that $$$ so Taken part 2 this Fall.  Also, at the end, his daughter was too well adjusted from just being fed heroin, kidnapped and rescued from a sex cartel to be smiling and jumping around hugging people.  I mean her homegirl was killed and she was kinda like ehh oh well I'm back home.  There was no regard for human suffering at the end.  But I'm just a guy. 

 Ehhhh.  It's like Salt.  Story made no sense and it was just dumb.  Fight scenes were dope.  Too much of her just chilling with the other family though.  That was about 30 minutes of the film they could have cut out.  It did nothing for the elevation of the story.  Her father beat the shit out of everybody only to lose to the one person that couldn't fight!!!! Give me a 100 breaks.  Skip this shit. 

Ok I think Sherlock and Watson got something going on between them.  Sherlock seems sweet on ole Watson.  But that's neither hear nor there.  This just doesn't have the same pop as the first one.  it's over 2 hours!  And the dude playing Moriarty is the dude from MadMen but the whole time I was thinking "Man Kelsey Grammar would kill this shit.  The story was oddly paced.  This was like Men in Black 3 (not worse though) it was just kind of moving along and I really didn't care either way. 

I Watch Movies

DRAG

Hungry For More - The Hunger Games Alternatives

Since I am aware that The Hunger Games is just a twist on Twilight and have no need to see either, these are my suggestions for movies that go for the jugular and pull no punches.

First there is The Tournament. Ving Rymes stars in this and it is action from the moment that it comes on. 30 of the World's Top Assassins kill one another to see who is the best. There were only 3 parts that I was like "Come on man really," but it was a dope movie.

Second, it's Battle Royale ! This is set in Japan. 9th Grade trouble maker kids of this certain school get send to an unknown island where they have 3 days to kill each other. The last on alive gets to leave the island. You learn about the kids pasts, troubles and relationships with one another. A few weird things though. The beginning of the movie has nothing to do with the movie at all. The role of the Teacher is pretty weird... his character seems deep but it gets lost in the goofiness of him. The tracking necklaces the children had, had microphones on them, but it seemed that sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn't. 42 only 1 can make it...kinda. Interesting movie. Gogo from Kill Bill was in this movie.

Buffet

DRAG

Movie Review - Mission Impossible : Ghost Protocol

Tom Cruise is the man. That being said this film plays out just like an episode of the now defunct show Under Covers that came on NBC for about 12 episodes. And oddly enough both are/were produced by JJ Abrams. The action was fast paced and good chase scenes. A few corny parts. Nice gadgets. But even after all of that it still seemed like the movie was missing something. Something that I still can't quite put my finger on. Maybe it was the whole "Russian Launch Codes" thing. I don't know. I'm just glad that the twist that I thought was going to happen didn't. Ving Rhames shows up at the end for nostalgic reasons I guess.

Did the Wall Move Sawyer?!

DRAG