Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Movie Run Down

 Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter is a you got what you came for type of film.  The title itself is foolery and that is what the film becomes.  It's hard even to take it seriously as an action film because it's just so over the top.  They mix in real events of Abe's life and throw in some Vampires to style it up.  If this was Abraham Lincoln Dinosaur Hunter it might have been better.  If it was Abraham Lincoln Coin Collector it might have been better.  The last straw was when 50 + year old Abe picked up his axe to fight again and was jumping on top of moving train cars to defeat hoards of Vampires.  Honest Abe my ass.

 This will go down as one of Will's worst movies.  A flop.  After being away from movies for 4 years while he let his kids take over Hollywood, Will kinda lost a bit of stride.  That ole Will Smith humor just didn't snap like it used to.  The thing about being away so long is when you come back it will either seem refreshing or have no rhythm, unfortunately the latter wins with this.  The story is bland, the action is bland, the whole damn thing is bland.  Sad part is, it's not a bad movie, it's just not as good as it should have been and I think they knew it.  The whole time while promoting the film they only talked about how good of a job Josh Brolin did impersonating Tommy Lee Jones.  And while it was a great impersonation the rest of the movie just fell short.  And the whole going back in time thing??!??!?!? Come on people.  Come on.

 This was a good movie, bullshit in most places but good none the less.  The way he tracks down the kidnappers and escapes most situations were very far fetched but entertaining.  Liam Neeson also has the voice of like Jesus or something.  I just don't get making a part 2 to this film.  Esp with the angle being revenge.  Albanians drugged and kidnapped this dudes daughter and tried to sell her in the sex trade and you want revenge because he killed a few of your guys?  Sounds dumb but Hollywood wants that $$$ so Taken part 2 this Fall.  Also, at the end, his daughter was too well adjusted from just being fed heroin, kidnapped and rescued from a sex cartel to be smiling and jumping around hugging people.  I mean her homegirl was killed and she was kinda like ehh oh well I'm back home.  There was no regard for human suffering at the end.  But I'm just a guy. 
 Ehhhh.  It's like Salt.  Story made no sense and it was just dumb.  Fight scenes were dope.  Too much of her just chilling with the other family though.  That was about 30 minutes of the film they could have cut out.  It did nothing for the elevation of the story.  Her father beat the shit out of everybody only to lose to the one person that couldn't fight!!!! Give me a 100 breaks.  Skip this shit. 

Ok I think Sherlock and Watson got something going on between them.  Sherlock seems sweet on ole Watson.  But that's neither hear nor there.  This just doesn't have the same pop as the first one.  it's over 2 hours!  And the dude playing Moriarty is the dude from MadMen but the whole time I was thinking "Man Kelsey Grammar would kill this shit.  The story was oddly paced.  This was like Men in Black 3 (not worse though) it was just kind of moving along and I really didn't care either way. 

I Watch Movies


Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Alien vs. Prometheus

I saw Prometheus this past Saturday and was asked did I ever see Alien by Dj Craigo Gettems.  I haven't, so then I did.  And ehh.  Both movies are pretty "ehhh" in my book.  Alien takes place in 2037 ish and Prometheus in 2086-2094.  Both are stories of deception.  Both crews in both movies think that they are going to explore the planet (which is really a Moon) for a different reason and both crews are deceived by Androids on the crew. 

Alien was kind of slow and boring to me.  The whole 1st hour nothing happens.  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!  Then while exploring a scorpion crab spider like thing jumps on this dudes face.  Ripley says don't let it on the ship ... The dude Ash says let it on the ship.  And they let it on the ship.  Fatally Flaw and stupid mistake number one.  Don't let the Android tell you what to do.  That's the thing that killed everybody, letting it on the ship.  But if that hadn't have happen no movie right?!  Right! 

During their exploration they come across a ship and a creature in a chair telescope thing that they figure has been dead for a long long time.  Fast forward to Prometheus and we learn next to nothing about these creatures.  We know that they are Albino, about 7 feet tall and they hate Humans.  Prometheus has no focus its everywhere but at the end of the movie you're left empty like what happened.

Odd thing is, both movies had secret agendas which were to basically get samples of the aliens, but neither of the ships had a containment space for them. 

Waste of 4 hours. 

We Should Be Alone


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

New Music : Robot Sex Laser EP

Robot Sex Laser has been described as "New American Space Step" as a mixture of Electro Dub Step Techno Dance and House music. The EP was made in 4 days to capture the true expression of the inception of the project.



Thank You 

Bass Modulator